


Competing with Perfection

by selfreliantscientist



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Carlos is mentioned but not actually in the story, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 02:17:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1101209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selfreliantscientist/pseuds/selfreliantscientist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is, he feels, reasonably upset when his boyfriend declares his love for another man over the airwaves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Competing with Perfection

Steve looked over the notes he’d made at the PTA meeting two nights before, editing them to be more presentable and readable to any parents or teachers who might want to make use of them. He listened to Cecil’s show while he worked. Sure, his boyfriend’s voice could be distracting, and an occasional error might slip into the minutes because he was paying attention to a news story instead of the keyboard, but editing the minutes was such boring work that this was the only way he could force himself to get through it.

His son Xander was already asleep, and in a little while Cecil’s show would be done, and he would come over. Cecil spent most nights at Steve’s, now, and Steve was trying to figure out how to broach the subject of making the arrangement permanent. He didn’t want to come off as pushy, telling Cecil to give up his own apartment and move into Steve’s house and be assimilated into Steve’s family, but at the same time, Cecil may have been dropping subtle hints that that was what he wanted to do, in which case Steve was being a jerk by not making the suggestion.

Steve was just beginning to wonder whether a marriage proposal would be less awkward when Cecil announced, in regards to some scientist who’d just arrived in town, “I fell in love _instantly_.”

“What.” Said Steve, to no one but himself. He texted Cecil, _What was that you just said?_ But he didn’t get a response. He hadn’t really expected to; Cecil shouldn’t be using his phone when he was on air. But still, he was filled with apprehension. Was this Cecil’s way of breaking up with him? Just announcing a new interest to the entire town, humiliating Steve as he learned of Cecil’s romantic availability at the same time everyone else did? Was it some kind of joke? Cecil wouldn’t normally joke about that kind of thing.

Through the rest of the show, Steve was listening carefully. Cecil liked this newcomer’s hair, called him _perfect_ repeatedly, and didn’t mention _anything_ that would imply to a new listener that he was already taken. If that scientist was listening to the show, he may very well have gotten the impression that Cecil was fair game, and moreover, that some sort of overture would be welcome. “What are you _doing_ to me, Cecil?” Steve sighed as the program went to the weather.

_Don’t know exactly what this text is referring to, but we can talk about it when I get home. :)_ The text came in almost immediately after the weather started. Steve didn’t reply. He couldn’t think of anything that needed to be said, aside from what needed to be clarified in person.

Before Cecil could leave work, he had to receive a visit from Carlos. Steve had heard the name enough times now to remember it. At least this Carlos person didn’t seem to immediately fall in love with Cecil; the reporter made no mention of any conversation aside from pure professional discourse. The scientist was scared of the radiation. Steve snorted. Radiation in Night Vale should be the _least_ of that guy’s worries.

“Steve!” Shouted Cecil as he bounded into the other man’s home. He swept Steve into a hug, saying, “How was your day?”

“Pretty rotten, actually, Cecil,” Steve admitted.

Cecil pouted. “Oh, that’s too bad. Is there anything I can do to make it better?”

“Cecil, were you even paying attention to the things you said in your broadcast?”

“Well, I’m contractually obligated to pay _some_ attention, but if I get too involved then Station Management tends to shriek at me…”

Steve sighed. “Do you remember talking about someone named Carlos?”

“Oh, yes. Carlos. Have you seen him, Steve? His hair is-”

“Perfect, I know. I haven’t seen him. I’ve just heard about him. Heard your opinions about him.”

Cecil nodded, waiting to see where this was going.

“You said you fell in love with him instantly.”

“Well, that’s all it takes, really. One smile with those perfect teeth and that perfect hair…”

“Cecil, do you honestly not understand why I’m upset with this?” Asked Steve.

“No.”

“You said you’re in love with another man!”

“Well,” said Cecil, “Who wouldn’t be in love with Carlos? He’s just… perfect.”

“Are you in love with me?”

Cecil paused, considering. “I haven’t really thought about it before.”

“You know what? I can’t deal with this conversation right now. I think it would be better if you spent the night at your own home.” Said Steve.

“But… Xander and I were going to make pancakes tomorrow. I bought the flour and everything!”

“Some other time, maybe,” insisted Steve. “And we are _having_ this conversation. I’m just too tired to deal with it right now.”

After a few days, the Carlos thing seemed like less of an issue. Cecil did apologize, eventually, and he went back to spending nights in the Carlsberg household.

One thing kept nagging at Steve: Cecil had gushed over Carlos’ _hair_ in particular, and Steve readily acknowledged that his own hair was desperately in need of a cut. If he came out of Telly’s barbershop looking suave and dashing, then surely Cecil would pay as much attention to him as he had to the scientist.

He missed the show that day, planning to catch up later when he had time and was not running around finalizing plans for a romantic dinner and dropping Xander off at a friend’s house so that he and Cecil could have some quality alone time.

When Cecil saw the table and his face lit up, with joy as well as the light of all the candles Steve had set up, it seemed for a moment that the effort had all been worth it. Cecil’s eyes rested on Steve and he moved forward, saying “Thank you for doing this for me” as they embraced.

“Notice anything?” Asked Steve.

“You mean other than the table? There’s more?”

Well, Cecil _could_ be pretty unobservant at times.

“I’m talking about the haircut, Cecil.”

“Oh, yes. Absolutely awful!”

“Awful?”

“Perfect Carlos’ perfect hair just _destroyed_ by that horrible Telly! Why I-”

Steve let go of Cecil, backing away and pointing toward the front door. “Get out.” He said.

“What?” Asked Cecil.

“If you can’t figure this out on your own I don’t know how to help you. Get out of my house, Cecil. It’s over.”

Cecil, blinking through tears of outrage and confusion, went out the front door, never to come back to that place again.


End file.
